"You're too cold, too distant. You think you know it all and you know what Rick? You may actually know everything, but you don't feel anything."
That was the last time she ever spoke to me. Idiot. She didn't know what that meant for this dimension.
Every Rick has a Morty. I needed a Morty. She leaving me would have left this dimension incomplete. And incomplete dimensions are bound for destruction.
Gratefully, she re-married. Her daughter married an idiot, like expected, and created my Morty. A real, complete, utter idiot... he was perfect for me.
["Gratefully, she re-married..." funny how language works.]
Do not confuse my frequent visits to her house as anything else: I was just supervising the progress of my Morty. When he was 14, I broke into their house and claimed what was mine.
He didn't talk much at first, leading me to believe that he had mental retardation. But, no, he was just (ugh) sad.
"Why are you wasting energy feeling like that? We are going to overthrow the Council of Ricks and rule everything!"
"Uhhh, I don't know, Rick. Uhh, I miss mom.... and grandma."
"Ungrateful idiot. I hope you realize that she almost doomed this dimension for destruction by leaving me. She almost killed trillions and trillions of species across this dimension because of 'marital problems'. Are you seriously telling me you miss that selfish bitch?"
Throwing my hands into the air in frustration, "Bah, who cares about her? Let's just do our thing."
"Uhh, yeah... wow, Rick, for a person that supposedly doesn't care abou..."
"And besides, she was always talking about feeling this and feeling that. Why? WHAT IS SO FUCKING IMPORTANT ABOUT FEELING?!"
"Uhh, Rick if you don't care about her, why are you so angry?"
He kept quiet. Too fucking quiet.
"uhh... I... I miss grandma."
"Oh for fuck's sake!"
"ok ok, fine... uhhh... what does this button do?" Pointing at the on/off switch of my portal gun.
"It turns it on. Don't touch it. It will throw you into another dimension."
"uuhh, cool, to what dimension?"
"Doesn't matter. If it throws you and you don't have a portal gun, you may get stuck there. I cannot let th..."
"right, I'm your cloaking device."
"Yeah. Because of that."
He looks at me annoyingly. The same annoying stare that she used to have. Fuck. He looks so much like her...
"huh, uhmm, and only that?" He taunts, smugly.
I stutter. "Of, of course. What else could there be?"
"uhmm... I don't know. Maybe something else?" he smirks at me. Like her. Her same smirk.
"Stop that. Right now."
"What?" he continues.
"Stop it, Morty."
"Oooh someone cares for somebody, doesn't he?" she says... I mean, he says. And he does it in that all too familiar and annoying tone.
"STOP. IT." My hands find themselves tightening his neck, picking him up from the floor.
"aghhhg, wh... wh" he stutters.
"wh.. wh... why?"
I can't answer him. I can't answer that question. I will not let myself lower myself to her... ahh... to his level.
[Why do I keep doing that?]
I let him go. As he falls to the ground, he lets out a small squeal. He even sounds like her.
"Fuck." I grunt.
This isn't going to work.
"uhmm, what isn't going to work?"
Fuck. Did he hear me? I thought I said that to myself.
"uhhh, Rick, what isn't going to work?"
Staring at him I can see the endless abyss of constantly seeing her. How am I suppose to use this Morty without seeing him?
It suddenly dawns on me, "Of course".
I won't bore you with the details. Long story, short: I work in my lab for the next couple of weeks in what probably is my greatest invention. A mind switcher. It's perfect: I'll switch with him. I'll leave my idiotic memories with him and he'll truly think he's a Rick. I'll keep mine, with a cognitive layer for cloaking. I won't need to see her anymore...
"uhh, what? see who, Rick?"
Fuck! 'Him'. I meant 'him'. I need to stop doing that.
"Rick? see who, Rick?"
"Nobody. Get in the machine."
"uhh, ok, what's going to happen when I do?"
"Shut up and get in."
I turn on the mind switcher. The result is instant. I stumble a bit, but it seems everything went well.
"uhh, Morty, Morty, what happened? What did you do?"
I stay silent. I walk towards my portal gun.
"Morty... what? how? Oh God... oh... something's wrong... I... I feel..."
"What?! No. You can't feel. There's nothing there that can feel."
"My God. I miss her so much! I loved her. The best thing in my life and she left me."
"No. Stop it. This is not you."
"What? Morty, of course it's me. I... Oh God!"
He starts crying.
"Oh for fuck's sake. Stop it." I grab my portal gun.
He turns his back towards me and crawls into a ball. I set my portal gun to dimension J19 Zeta 7. No Rick exists there. It's perfect.
"... ok. Ok. It's ok." He seems to start to compose himself. "Ok. I think I'm good."
I start shaking as I aim my portal gun at him.
"It's weird, though. I mean, it hurts, but I think it's ok. Because, you know what? I think it's for the best. She's happy you know. It hurts, but it's ok."
"What did you say?!"
"Yeah. You know. I'm really going to miss her. But, I'm happy for her. I think I wasn't the best for her. I'm glad she found someone that made her happy."
He starts to stand up. "And, actually, I think I'm going to be ok. It's going to be difficult, but if she's able to be happy, so can I. You know?"
"No. SHUT UP!"
I pull the trigger. He disappears.
Then my portal gun hisses. A hiss that usually comes from a teardrop falling onto a hot portal gun that has just been fired.
I stand in disbelief, but I cannot deny it.
"I miss her." I say out loud, but nobody is here to hear it.
There. I felt. Hope she's happy...
No, I... I mean...
[sigh... funny how language works.]