I've waited much this day, and work's completed... sort of. I always tend to describe a phase of my life by a phrase, and this past few months have been exactly that: "sort of". Everything is closer than being finished than ever before (which, logically, it always is, but that's a topic for another time), and there's a blinking light at the end of the tunnel. Blinking, unfortunately, so it may be just a figment of my imagination, which from grading my own sanity, it might probably well be.
For those that have endured my weird, non-constant, non-periodical ramblings, and care at least a little for it: you may ask yourself, "How is this any different than before?" If you haven't asked yourself that, you might want to ponder it now... don't worry... I'll wait...
... The difference is that there's no turning back now. I'm more than halfway there, it feels like it. If I know myself as well as I think I do, I know that I won't leave this unresolved; pride is one part, fear is another. Yes, fear. You see, my mum is quite the silent psychic; once she just felt that I needed to bring an extra pair of shoes to a holiday trip to a place that unexpectedly had strong showers. I think I had some of that passed on to me, as I'm always thinking "Five years from now, I'm going to regret not finishing this, being so close to it." And it is true; not the best reason to finish it I suppose, but it does the job.
It's an acquired taste this research thing, and it has been a weird path to acquire it. I'm not too sure that I've acquired it completely though; I hope that the other half of the path takes care of that.
So here I go, ready to jump in this next part, and see it through the end... sort of.
"There is a star in the sky
Guiding my way with its light
And in the glow of the moon
Know my deliverance will come soon"
Martin L. Gore
Post a Comment