Un año mas, un año menos

It has been a year... so? What's changed?

I'm in a relationship that has challenged me to not only fulfill the part that lies in my responsability and that I usually am not able to meet, but to also commit to a long-distance situation that is famous for its difficulty. However, it has sustained me, I don't know how, but if it wasn't for it, I would probably be lost (more so than I am right now); I tend to be a loner, and seeing myself relying and pursuing the oral company of someone is not something that I'd expect. At the same time, it's not a question of reliability, as being so far away there is so much that someone can do to help. It is a matter of reflection, of feedback (ironically, me in the Control Engineering side); we're a mirror of each other, with all its caveats: I talk like a madman (yes, that hasn't changed) and she's the silent type; I'm more in the commercial arts, while she's more underground; I'm a techy, she's a bio; I don't read, while she loves it; I'm a raging thundershower, she's a spring breeze; I'm a know-it-all, while she actually does. Yet, we click, we nod in the same direction... Thank you Carmen, I love you.

I'm a fullblown PhD student now, with all its glory and stress. I am getting the hang of it though, little by little. I've found that is a matter for persistance, not in the work part, but in the planning. Knowing what to do today and the next day is always comforting. That, and waking up early really helps to get over stuff quickly.

Finally, I'm still here; I'm still going at it. I guess that's the thing that I should be most grateful for. I just hope I'm going about this the right way.

A sense of wonder, the joy of day, and glory of self, all smiling concur with the sound insane.