The day walked away from me today. Didn't do much, but got over some things. I'd be lying if I'd say that I didn't re-edit that last sentence and that I didn't hesitate to write this one, but I did, for both things. Sometimes I believe that I'm playing a character in a movie, and that that character should be a certain kind of person that is rightful, trustworthy, weird but innofensive, and just plain nice... but then I hesitate: am I being this person? Or am I being me? Then I realize that I really don't know who I am, just a weird mixture of personalities that I've met throughout my short years and have liked.
Interestingly, one of those personalities is very, very sincere, and really doesn't know how to say things, or how to act. I think that this personality is the one that is the most manifested in me; I don't know how to act, and I go into a serious state in which I just stand there, not knowing how to go about, feeling uncomfortable with my surroundings for no reason. Then another personality kicks in when somebody is putting attention: the talkative one, the other side, which is also very noticeable in me. There's supposed to be a listener somewhere in there too, but I haven't seen much of him lately; peaty, I really like him.
The day walked away from me today... the hardworking personality didn't come out; well, he did, for a couple of hours, but then the house maintenance guy popped in and got busy with other domestic things. I've grown accustomed to talk in plural about myself to myself, and I know it's not right to the point that I don't do it with other people around, but I feel comfortable doing it... we feel comfortable doing it. We're not well, we know, and even now, when we're writing this, knowing that somebody is going to read this, we feel the automatic need to write in singular... but now, that's what we are: plural, a bunch of needs, a bunch of moods, a bunch of attitudes that we put in when a certain situation arises. We guess that it is when another bunch of moods go along well with us that something in us kicks in and knows that it is when we multiply. We acquire new ways of thinking, new moods and new standpoints from where we foresee our future.
We're plural... but there's always this one personality that controls everything; or, well, there should be, from what I understand. What's mine? Where's mine? Could it be possible that I haven't acquired it yet? I will like to think that I have, since I've come back to singular again.
Yellow pads, padded cables, cable black, black camera, camera eyesight, sight of past, past tense, tense calm, calm door, door tree, tree forest, forest town, town agriculture, agriculture corn, corn chicken, chicken yellow... a chain of events that make up a sentence. A bunch of thoughts, a bunch of moods, a bunch of needs represented by two different things: a direction and a vehicle. The direction? The thought process that made about that chain of thoughts. The vehicle? The shell that embodies the thought process, in this case the sentence. And yes, while these are still singular, even the description of them still needs to be plural: a direction and a vehicle. Everything's plural, and yet I refer to myself as singular if I'm around a group of people (ironic, isn't it?). It's possible that it's easier to direct your attention to a person, not the group of thoughts and physical organs that make up that person.
In any case, I'll continue to refer to us in a way that my friends don't think we're completely out of my/our mind(s)... unless somebody states a preference for the alternative.
