Weird Sleeping Numbers

Just three more days... just three letters. Mum says hi, dad says "good job", and I say "lot to do". Having some interesting advances, some interesting chat with supervisor and advisor that leads me to believe that I know nothing... well, no, something, but close to nothing, but the little that I know is actually kinda useful; who would've thought? Smelly, but useful...
Control control control... math math math... AI AI AI... just three... or three squared: three in a box, you might say, but the box may not be squared, there are round boxes, hexagonal ones, and collateral damage ones (DHL uses this last ones, btw), so no, three squared is not the same that three in a box, but it's kinda like an uptight three, y'know, those threes that don't think outside the box (being square, round, hexagonal or collateral), so, if you think about it, yeah: three squared may be the same as a three inside a box (look at me, contradicting and all), but not because of the type of box, is because of the social elements that the three is given because of being inside the box...

Ironically, the four may be quite confused by all of this because, well, it is by nature a square number, but it's not inside a box, so it may be thinking "what the hell, three? what you doin' inside a box?" (yeah, four also has a little boston accent) "there's no way you can be square!" but the three can answer:

3: "f**k you, four! i can be square and you know it: you have your two, i have 1.732"
4: "that's ludacris! sing us a song, ludacris"
ludacris: "yo yo yo! i don't wana be part of any of this"
4: "fine... three, i need the consent from one, seven, three and two (that whore) to know if what you said is correct, but it seems that it isn't, i mean four (me! yay) numbers to be your root... i dunno"
3: "you're just racist, four. you may think you come from a pure race (just 2's) but there are others numbers out there that come from different background, a lovely mixture of races to form a wonderful rainbow of numbers. isn't that right, 5?"
5: (eating chocolate) "yeah... sorry to dissapoint, but 2.236 is my root, and well, i have to say i was kinda ashamed of it, but not anymore... thank you, three!"
3: "no problem"
4: "you're from two as well??? oh my god! i... i... i'm whore squared!"
8: "uhmmm... can i interject a little bit?"
3: "i think you have just answered you're own question, eight..."
8: "oh, hehe, right... anyway, if i remember correctly, this whole issue began with three wanting to be squared, not with three wanting to be a square number, so it's kinda pointless if you think about it."
3: "oh crap... where's nine? i need to get to 9, before..."
9: "hello three... we need to talk... you say you come from 1, 7, 3, and that little whore 2... does that mean that i don't come from a pure race? that being 3's? mmm?? that i come from little 1's and 7's as well? because i don't recall having a 7 as a grandpa, do you?? that's... that's just wrong! is like having a 6 as your dad!" (shivers)
6: "hey! i resent that!"
5: "nobody cares, and noone listens to you, six... so shut up, come here and let's a make a thirty!"

(scene cut because of unsuitable math for children... hehe, gives a whole other meaning to the symbol: * doesn't it? hehe...)

3: "uh... damn you eight!! my whole purpose in life was to become a square number, and you come and... and... for god sake's six, cover your hole! no wonder nobody cares about you... and watch your thirties, now they're everywhere!" (picks up one of them)
3: "aren't they little nice thirties, though? i don't know, they kinda look like me, don't they?" (little tear coming out of his, uhmm, well, don't know really, haven't seen a three cry before)
3: "you aren't a square number either, are you little thirty?"
30: "what's square? like a four? iou!! no! wouldn't want to be square if i'm like four!"
8: "hahaha... good point, you see three? there's no need to be square, because you can always be squared, and nobody would give a rat's ass where you come from, you are the one that everybody else is coming from... cool, isn't it?"

three, the little thirty and eight, and everyone else is happy with the situation, except for four... four has something up his, well, not sleeve, cuz, if you think about it they're all naked, but, ok, four 'has a secret' (better, isn't it?) that's about to be revealed:

4: (trembling) "don't listen to eight! he's not to be trusted... you fools, he interjected without giving me the chance to say 'no', he's like a vampire, you see... like the devil, confusing you with logic, but you seem to forget something about his nature that makes him unworthy of our trust... you may dislike me because i come from that little whore two, what is it you call me? whore squared? ok... but eight is... haha, eight is..." (suspenseful pause... which isn't really, I mean, you can just skip this sentence and end the suspense, but you aren't... do you like suspense that much that you're willing to read all this rubbishness for it? you're wierd! are you aware of the freakishness that resides in you?? my god, you... you make me sick!)

4: "EIGHT'S WHORE CUBED!!!" (gasps from everybody)
3: "is it true, eight? you have being lying to me all this time? not only that you come from that little whore, but you, of all numbers here, are the only one cubed???"
8: (crying) "IT'S TRUE! but it wasn't my fault, i swear! it was four's fault, he's... he's my father! and HE MULTIPLIED WITH TWO!" (everybody groans in disgust)
6: (fainting)
5: (vomiting)
3: "c'mon five, these were a new pair of shoes!"
7: "alright! who f**ked two again? four? nailed the grandma! alright! here are some antibodies if it starts itching." (oh yeah, seven's a perv)
4: "damn you eight! that was our secret! that drunken night... i thought it was five, i swear! damn mirrors!"
5: "hey hey! don't even think of coming up with some similarities between me and that little whore... yes, i admit, it is somewhere in my root, but that's all... god, it makes me shiver just to think about it!"

2: "ENOUGH! i've had it up to here with your 'little whore' this, 'little whore' that... i'm not little, i'm not a whore... i just like multiplying, that's all! is that such a crime? you do it everyday!"
1: "uhmmm... honey? can we go back... i'm getting the urge, hihi."

everybody: "IOUUUUUU!!!"
5: "two's doing grand grandma!!!"
7: "now that's sick!"
4: (vomiting)
3: "jesus! why does everybody turn my way when they're puking!"

1: "what? it's not like i haven't multiplied with any of you before!!!"

(crickets singing)

everybody, silent, went back to their houses... and a whole lota 12's and 20's and 42's and 24's and 18's and 15's and 21's and 45's and 9's and 8's and 7's and 6's and 5's and 4's and 3's and 2's and even little 1's (yes, apparently that's also possible) came out the next day and said "MULTIPLY YOU!!!"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

that is awesome and amazing that u could come up with that when ur tired although i dont think a sane person would think of doing something like that but who cares everyone in the world is a little crazy